Whose window are you looking through?

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, do we see ourselves, or do we ignore the reflection before us and replace it with that of someone else? It might sound really creepy, but seriously, when was the last time you wished you were in someone else's shoes? Wishing for their hair, their eyes, their dress sense, their parents or just their whole lives? Don't front and pretend like you've never done it, it's better to be honest with yourself. Now compare that with the amount of times you've told yourself that you love yourself, that you're beautiful/handsome (without being arrogant!) and that God loves you as you are? Is it neck and neck? Or is one above the other? For me I know that I have spent so long wanting to be other people that I've totally forgotten about who I am as a person, and have neglected what my life is about, my gifts, talents, loves, dislikes etc. And I believe now is the time to regain myself - are you willing to take the journey too?

When I say 'whose window are you looking through' what I mean is whose life are you glaring at longingly perhaps even enviously through only one perspective? Let's emphasize the one perspective! What you must remember is that in our comparisons we have only looked at what we know or what we see of that person, we don't know the 360 degree perspective. I'll give you an anecdote.

So I started secondary school, it's all very scary, maybe a little exciting but mostly scary, and I know this is going to sound really cheesy, but you know you want to be in the group that's most popular, the one where you'll get the most 'friends' (yes, the quotation marks are there for a reason) or look the coolest - I hope you get the point? So I spent most of my secondary school life pining to be in a clique that I knew nothing about which led me to take for granted what I had in the form of a great group of friends. It's not until Year 11 - yes that's 5 years of my life spent wishing for someone else's live - that I discovered life wasn't a bed of roses in the 'cool' group - backstabbing, bitching, lies (sounds like a soap opera) and then it dawned on me. Look how much time I have spent wasting, wishing for someone else's life, so much so that my life is now empty, because I failed to nourish what I had and instead pined for everyone else's assets. When you leave a plant without water - what happens to it?

Once you realise, that there's an emptiness, the right thing to do, would be seek God to fill that void in your life and help to develop what you had neglected, right? But the learnt habit to look to other people to find myself felt almost innate at that point. I sought to find my self worth elsewhere, and perhaps if you have been in that situation you may have done the same. I looked for a boy to tell me I was loved, that I was worth something and basically to fill the void that I felt and had created in my yearning to be a completely different person. For some who have spent so long comparing yourselves to others, you may look to the opposite sex or sex in general something that will make you feel worth something or loved. Let me tell you, you're going to be left as empty as before. No man, woman or child can fill that emptiness and make you know your full worth, like God can.

What you have to realise, is that we are all flawed individals, no we are not perfect but the key is not to beat yourself up for the flaws that you have. Learn to love yourself without conditions, stop saying 'I'll love myself once I stop (insert flaw here)' or the worst 'God won't love me until I stop (insert flaw here)' God will in fact help you work through your flaws, don't be ashamed of them, because remember, He can see you doing it. It is only in God that you can find your identity. So, no you might not have green eyes or be able to dance, or excel in academic subjects. But that doesn't mean you're any less of a person then the person who does or can. It's the famous phrase: You're unique. You hear the artists nowadays, saying that they're 'doing me' and you know there are 1000's of people singing it, but whose really doing it?

Reading from the 'Purpose Driven Life' I learnt that God is happy when we you use the gifts and talents He has blessed us with! Not that person you're wishing you were. Is your desire to make God happy? If it is and you've spent a lot of your life comparing yourselves to others, firstly begin by listening to what you tell yourself. Is it positive, or is it negative? If it's negative, start changing what you say, replace phrases of disdain or perhaps even hatred into words of love, tell yourself that you love yourself and that God loves you for who you are. Read the bible, the word is surely where you will discover your identity and finally just converse with God. Tell him how you feel - He likes honesty and we ought not to be afraid of laying our lives bare to our Father.

I'll leave you on this note, my friend was telling me about one of her aquaintances from college, who acheived excellent grades in her GCSE's and A-Levels and that she was outstandingly pretty, and then she uttered the words 'I wish I was like her'. After the many years of me comparing myself I realised how truly unattractive it was. Think about it, you are a beautiful human being, start dicovering your self-worth in God before you start treading the dead end road of comparison.

Beacoup d'amour

Jade Chanel x