Resilience...

Recently, I hit a low point. Looking at it, it appears futile, something that ought not to have affected me. But what it did do, was stop me from reading the Word, breathe short meaningless prayers with no true belief that anything would come to pass and to be honest my faith in God just waned. The reason for this sudden destruction of my belief was because the past came knocking at my door, and whilst I sought God to help me in the situation, He wasn't answering in my time, therefore my belief system said 'He's never going to answer - take things into your own hands' and let me tell you, that it was the most destructive thought ever! It became a barricade between God and I as my little human self believed I could take on supernatural powers and shape the outcome of the situation, but we all know that's an impossibility. And so from then on, I took a downward spiral, having negative thoughts about my existence, and to be real, thinking that if I died it would be a lot easier than facing up to the situation. I sounded (and felt) like a depressive Emo kid, but the rationality of God's word was missing, thus leaving the possibility of irrational thoughts.

I continued to try and take things into my control, but they only slipped further and further out of my control and I was left feeling more uncertain about the situation than when I started. Would I put it in God's hands? No. I believed I could still deal with it on my own. I was being fiercely stubborn, I didn't want anyone to meddle with my problem and a belief started that God would judge my situation just as man did. It was a vicious situation, perhaps a cycle, but it was only gnawing away at the cord between God and I.

I did start reading the Word again, but I still felt empty, there was just a lack of connection so to speak. But then what it took, strangely enough was a song, entitled 'Lord, How I love You' by Fred Hammond. I listened to it whilst getting ready for bed and what happened was it reminded me of feelings that I had when I was going through another 'rough patch' and then I looked at where I was now, and at the moment I fully understood what people meant when they say 'God has brought me a mighty long way' and when I say fully understood I mean I had experienced it myself. If God did that for me then, what is going to stop him from doing it now? It sounds so obvious now, but then again it is so easy to forget. Then I learnt a lesson about myself which is to be resilient in my faith.

I can't phrase this post in a fancy way, it's just raw experience and if there is anything you take from this, it's to remain resilient in your faith no matter what is thrown your way. Past, present, future situation, man, woman, child, don't let anything separate you from God's love.

"I'm absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us." (Romans 8:38 - MSG)

So stand knowing that it is not by your might, but by the might of Jesus that you will pass through your situation, and in the meantime, keep on praising and never forget where God has brought your from because he will surely do it for you again.

All my Love

Jade Chanel x